In this not so “Wordless Wednesday” – I am facing surgery. As most of you read this I will be in the hospital and possibly still in surgery. I know that I am very blessed and loved, to spite the circumstances before me. It has been a rough road since my initial surgery in April – which discovered a carcinoid tumor and cells. As I was refered to doctors and then eventually facing the treatment ahead – a right hemicolectomy to remove part of my colon, any remaining cells and lymph nodes – I have had a lot of time to think and pray. I have accepted my situation and I know I am not alone.  I have some wonderful friends and family.

Romans 8:26-28
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and thoughts and I will be home soon (I hope).

So I am waiting…for answers, for options, for relief, for this all to be over. I can’t do anything because I feel like my options are do nothing or do something drastic. There is little research to help in any decision. I feel like and anomaly that no one can explain.

I can do nothing – I am waiting. The doctors are unsure what the next course of action should be. I am praying that God will intervene and tell them what to do.

I am in the potter’s hands – He is the one making the decisions on how this is to be done. I am just a broken piece of pottery in His hands. Waiting to be whole again.

I am feeling a little drained. I am losing ground and not able to focus. There are too many loose ends that I cannot tie up.  Why? I am running out of answers and patience. I don’t know what to do.

Yes I had high hopes to returning to work this past Monday. It didn’t work. I lasted a day and a half before heading home sick and calling the doctors again. I tried too hard to push it and go back full steam ahead.  I was told to stay home and rest more and hopefully try next week to ease back into work. This is so hard for me…I am a go getter, a doer, not a watcher, not a sitter. I am having such a hard time with this and it is hurting my recovery. I took for granted that this was a simple operation and that I was “fine”. I didn’t surrender completely to the Lord’s will on this situation nor follow the instructions of take it easy. I am stubborn and hard-headed. I just don’t like when things don’t fit into  my plans. I am hanging on hoping that there will be answers and that things will make sense again.

Here’s to hoping there is good news on the horizon.
Praying as always,

This is what we did on Easter Sunday: Since I am not up for Sunday breakfast or church  just yet I went to Easter Sunday service on the TV and well Kitty joined me. For some comic relief in my mundane and lazy days this week. Please pray with me that I can go back to work on Monday and stop feeling so icky :-(.

Lots of Love and Blessings,