August 10, 2011

This day…

Posted by ShariCakes under Illness, Life, Religion & Faith | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |
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In this not so “Wordless Wednesday” – I am facing surgery. As most of you read this I will be in the hospital and possibly still in surgery. I know that I am very blessed and loved, to spite the circumstances before me. It has been a rough road since my initial surgery in April – which discovered a carcinoid tumor and cells. As I was refered to doctors and then eventually facing the treatment ahead – a right hemicolectomy to remove part of my colon, any remaining cells and lymph nodes – I have had a lot of time to think and pray. I have accepted my situation and I know I am not alone.  I have some wonderful friends and family.

Romans 8:26-28
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and thoughts and I will be home soon (I hope).

 

June 4, 2011

Fearless or less fearful…

Posted by ShariCakes under Illness, Life, Religion & Faith | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |
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I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ve been a jumble of nerves and busy with appointments, phone calls and finances. Funny, I never said work – work is where I feel most at ease and my mind is at rest.

Work
 I went back to work earlier last week to spend time doing what I do best – working with children. I love my job. I love being part of the lives of little ones who have their whole life before them. I have the opportunity to be a part of that – a big part – and it’s an amazing opportunity. I lead and they follow – yet they are fearless at every opportunity and they live in the moment. I have spent the past 6 months so wrapped up in the busy-ness of the day, that I missed the joy, the meaning, the importance. I missed God and the blessings in it. I am so blessed to be back at work and I enjoy it more now than ever.

Health
As far as my health goes – I feel that being part of my regular routine has helped – I feel good, a little tired but more normal and blessed. I know it seemed simple, I even took for granted that it was a routine health issue. But it isn’t the end – it is a beginning and I have to accept it. I have cancer. I said it. I’m not giving up nor am I  going to let it define me. The treatment, however, is kind of drastic and major. Yet I am less fearful….but not fearless.

Did I shut down? Yes. Did I and do I cry? Yes. I am human. Am I scared? Sure. I feel the surge of helplessness and hopelessness from time to time creep up and I know it will continue. I need all the faith I can muster and all the prayer that I can manage to get through this. I know it will be long and dark but I have to be ready to go this distance. I have to be ready to journey this dark road with my Savior.

Thanks Amy and Josh Wilson Music.

Thank you [everyone] for your prayers and thoughts,

 

May 13, 2011

Waiting…

Posted by ShariCakes under Illness, Life, Unexpected Situations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |
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So I am waiting…for answers, for options, for relief, for this all to be over. I can’t do anything because I feel like my options are do nothing or do something drastic. There is little research to help in any decision. I feel like and anomaly that no one can explain.

I can do nothing – I am waiting. The doctors are unsure what the next course of action should be. I am praying that God will intervene and tell them what to do.

I am in the potter’s hands – He is the one making the decisions on how this is to be done. I am just a broken piece of pottery in His hands. Waiting to be whole again.